"The Boy Wonder"

John Santacruz

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The tree is happy because it is scarcely sentient;
the hard rock is happier still, it feels nothing:
there is no pain as great as being alive,
no burden heavier than that of conscious life.

To be, and to know nothing, and to lack a way,
and the dread of having been, and future terrors…
And the sure terror of being dead tomorrow,
and to suffer all through life and through the darkness,

and through what we do not know and hardly suspect…
And the flesh that temps us with bunches of cool grapes,
and the tomb that awaits us with its funeral sprays,
and not to know where we go,
nor whence we came! …

"Fatality" by Ruben Dario 

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We have no form, therefore we fear it.
And because we are formless, we revere it.
Thus we are slain.

A kanji saying

People aren’t a finite thing. There is no limit to growth and action and we fear the possibilities of what can come from that. But we also revere the amazing things that can be created through this limitlessness, and we kill our old selves everyday to be someone new, better, or different to achieve it.

You are not who were yesterday, and tomorrow you will not be who you were today. 

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The art of loneliness is a talent I’ve well developed. You think that I would be used to it by now.

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It’s easier to be cynical, but being hopeful is ironically usually more satisfying.

Although, being cynical can be satisfying enough.

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How to save a fish from drowning- the answer is simple, but the process is hard.

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It’s nights like these that make me simply abhor being a light sleeper.

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[When you reach the little house, the place your
journey started,
you will recognize it, although it will seem
much smaller than you remember.
Walk up the path, and through the garden gate
you never saw before but once.
And then go home. Or make a home.]
And rest.
Neil Gaiman, from “Instructions” (via the-final-sentence)

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One of my favorite anecdotes

…takes place in the 1970s. A middle aged man in his 30s is walking across the Golden Gate Bridge past the tourists, bicyclists and other locals. They’re talking and laughing, taking pictures of Alcatraz or just enjoying the view. He looks around and takes it all in before he climbs up onto the safety railing, walks onto the chord and off the bridge. He plunges through the air, falling 200 feet down to the water, breaking the surface at 75 mph. The violent crash causes his ribs break, his vertebrae to snap, and his organs and brain to turn to pulp. The coast guard then show up to remove his limp, cold, and lifeless body.

They investigate what went wrong and the examiner finds a note in his otherwise sparse apartment. It read:

"I’m going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump."


It’s a nice reminder of how much you can affect the world and other people with even the smallest things.

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Day 2

It was definitely a recovery day. All I did was sleep, eat copious amounts of food and watch movies with my beloved. Back day tomorrow though -_- and then Monday starts the 8 week bulking cycle whooooo

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Day 0

I started off with leg day and now my legs feel like jello.

I’m not sure if this is a bad sign that I’ve been out too long or a good start to my bulking cycle.